In the previous episode.

22/02/2022, Monday.

Hridayam has my Hridayam, as in, the heart has my heart. Cringe. Well was it a mere coincidence that I happened to watch Hridayam - A Malayalam movie based on college fun-romance-life precisely a week before my convocation? Anyways...

One of my friends called it unrealistic. I mean Was it? Even if it was for him, I think it's about your own experience of it. Cinema offers you a wide range of emotions, but it's you who can relate to some, love some & hate some according to your own experiences. When you watch something & relate to it, why does It birth instant hope as in "Oh somebody knows? feels the same? went through this? understood this. The probability of relevance gives you hope.

28/11/2022, Monday.

Procrastination has limits and I just crossed so many with this blog.

But Feb aarya to Nov aarya: That's okay, I thought you'd never write, but here we are.

09/01/2023, Monday.

Procrastination level: 73423479789nth crossed.

The fact that I just renewed the site subscription for the domain, pushed me to complete this. Write something rather. A lot has changed over the past months. A lot. Definitely living a lot of adulting memes which for me were just merely ranted by over-traumatic adults who needed therapy. Everybody needs therapy.

Change is constant, and for a brief second, it had me doubting everything. As the brief second continues in time, I realize that slowly & steadily your courage starts flourishing the day you realize no one is coming to save you, and then it keeps growing without ends. When I talked about adulting a year ago In my first blog, I knew it wouldn't be the last time, but I didn't think I'd view it from such wider perspectives in just a year. Only teaches me one more thing, it's going to be much wider anytime now.

It's like you can’t complain about shit that you literally signed up for. Sounds like a line from a teenage high school show, but it's real. Apparently, everything is real & everything is connected.

Lately, I have found myself in situations where I don't remember how it felt and that has left me blank in cases. Like I don't remember the butterflies in my stomach, the heartrates that went high awaiting that message, scare before that paper, coming home drunk to my parents, happy days. ( DARK. LOL)

But yeah, I mean I don't remember the person I was in a relationship with, kills my hope to feel things ever again, and that kinda scares me, This is officially become an "I need to feel something" Rant.

16/01/2023, Monday

I am just gonna let it be. But hey? You know what? I feel it now, and oh boy is it giving me 10x anxiety.

Manifestation is real, and it works in the most mysterious ways, Thoda works in "MAH LYF MAH RULZ" but it does work for you guys. But all I can say right now is, I have to live with the trauma to write about it. *inserts laugh-cry emojis* because Fir kyaaaaaaa.

23/01/2023, Monday

Hey, I got what connects all the above.

Every feeling is a molecular baby of HOPE.

Like, The silence of the space hopes for a calm night of sleep.

Like Taking your own decisions hopes lesser regrets because it's you at the end.

Well, there is a story that I read some time ago,

Two men were stranded on an island, One was an atheist & other one was a believer. They had to get out of the island to live, The atheist started building a boat & the believer starter praying to god. The Atheist seemed very much practical & sensible in terms of doing something to save himself whilst the believer seemed stupid.

Well god answered the believer's prayers by sending him an atheist to build a boat When you look at it, The hope in god, worked in a mysterious way to get the believer stranded with an atheist.

Anyway, I love how Mondays have motivated me to open my drafts. This blog is basically I have to write something to write something again. Bear with me? I realized that when I stopped noticing things, I stopped writing, or When I stopped writing, I stopped noticing. It's a vicious cycle. Koi na, start somewhere.

Well, in life, there is an expiry to everything, there will be times when everything cries in you except your eyes, you might be literally living your "good old days", No one has argued their way to happiness, Nothing can be haunted than history itself, & Hope is the last thing that's ever lost.

So, hope better tomorrow and run a lil slower.

Thoda teher jao na, jab kahin pohachna nhi to bhag kyu rahe ho?

XOXO, Aarya.